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You’re Not in His Heart

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Feeling blind-sided and devastated, I stormed out of the living room. “Damn it!” What the fuck was happening? Nothing was making any sense. There was no balance between your actions and your words. And instead of being bare assed naked and giving out in a whirl-wind of love making; I was standing outside, in the dark of the night, with my mind spinning out of control. It took all of my strength not to collapse to the ground. The sounds of coyotes howling, dogs barking, and rain pouring were deafening. I screamed with pain and frustration, “What the fuck!”

Certainly, my tears and the raindrops that were rolling down my face would be visually inseparable. The pounding of my heart and the gasps for air caused my legs to weaken and shake. Hard as I might, my breath escaped me and my searing tears had no end in sight. “This cannot be happening!” I cried out in despair.

“Enough!” I had to pull my shit together and put on a strong face. With one last outburst, I reached down to the depths of my soul. Knowing that I had to go back and be faced by his truth was all that moved me forward. Running and hiding was no longer an option in my life. I’ve worked too damn hard to get past the abuse and my fear. Now was the time to let my next moment begin. With each step, I knew that I was moving closer to returning to hell. You had captured my heart months ago, and even though I didn’t want it back, I knew that I had to stand tall and accept it. Thank God life goes on, love happens, and broken hearts mend.

Your simple request for a week, turned into being three. You explained to me that you haven’t been thinking clearly, and that you needed to get your head straightened out. I was able to believe in this and grant your wishes. Though, I was so hurt and so confused. Until a friend had enough true love for me to say, “You’re not in his heart.” It was only because of this coming from him, that I found the courage to hear what was being told to me. What was really being told to me! As a result of that honest truth, I knew that you had confirmed that very message.

The last words that you had spoken to me were, “I’m not in love with you, yet.” With these words, again I believed. But, what I chose to believe was not your reality but rather, my own.

No longer are there expressions of love. And how swiftly, nights are passing by with no words capturing our free spirits and shared support. I knew for certain, what must be done. I had made a commitment to myself of letting you go. For the first time in my lifetime, I followed through to abandon ship and keep on with my life. For Pete-sake it was ‘my’ life! I had to own it and hold up to doing what was best for me. Our future had to be the furthest thought from my mind. Continuing on would definitely happen, but only, if I lived in the moment and continued searching for my wishes and desires.

“Time.” It is something that I possess and have control of sharing as a gift. Lessons that need to be learned, would take time. Living and being true to me, would take time. My moving forward in search of my own passion, would also take time. Yes, I can honor the request for time, but for me and for our friendship. I gave up our relationship in order to assure our life-long friendship. He is a beautiful person and my life was blessed when we met. With my decision shared, I walked away!

* * * * *

“Hello?” I answer the telephone on the third ring. Assuming it is my gal pal calling to see how my nerves are treating me. Today being the 19th, she knows that I am expecting a call from you later tonight. It has been weeks since our heartbreaking departure began. Though, I am living my life akyurt escort and doing well – I am still finding myself with butterflies in my tummy. Your promise to call is becoming doubtful in my mind of becoming true.

I recognized your suave, masculine voice immediately. “Hi, it’s me.” Stunned by the truth of it being your voice, I look up at the clock and see that it is only 7:30pm. You never call this early.

“Well, hello.” I offer in a slow and sexy tone. “How are you?” Completely stunned, I am obviously short on syllables.

“I have missed you!” He confesses in these four simple words. This being the start of our evening filled with laughter, joy and sharing begins. As if we had not missed out on a moment together. Hours now passing and with our connection being brought full circle to a point of starting over. And then it happened; together we decided that it is never too soon to begin.

* * * * *

I am breathless and on the verge of another mind-blowing orgasm; my quivering surges are powerful and explosive. We are both drenching wet with evidence of our coupling; which is now into its 4th hour. Both of us are being driven by our undying longing and craze. We have certainly proven that, at this point in time, there is no need for rest. No rest for the wicked!

The pungent aroma, of cum and sweat, is taking over the raspberry fragrance from the burning incense in our shared room. Mmm… I am melting with enjoyment as your hand pets the whole extent of my pussy. Your practiced fingers continue exploring and rubbing my puss. You travel continues back and forth between my rising bud, the pulsating opening among my moistened lips, and the ribbed skin ending just north of my rim. In a satisfying response, I release a moan of encouragement for more and, without missing a beat, elevate my hips for extra stability and intense contact.

In this moment, I am beginning to doubt your intent to enter my deepness with your large, strong and giving implements. As if knowing my thoughts, you suddenly take me with two fingers. Slowly and tenderly you are moving in and out, just to the edge of my bare puss. Your masterful touches fill me with taunting and satisfying sensations. I began to match your rhythm and increase my ride against your tightly clinched hand.

In receiving my silent request, your movements become less consistent, yet progressively deeper and harder. “Oh yes, that’s it! Please, don’t stop! Harder! Harder!” In this instant I am begging and pleading for you not to hold back. “Give it to me, baby!” I can’t help but to raise my legs up high, reach for and hold onto my knees, and spread them wide for you; allowing full access to my searing and juicy depths. I am in desperate need to feel you hammering away at me with vigor. An ecstatic screech escapes my lips. Your fingers are continuing to prod deeply into my petite puss.

Gently, yet with demand, you are working at spreading my inflamed walls to ready me again for your stunning rock-hard cock. Your earlier penetration is cause for my deepness to swell tightly. Rocking my hips, nearly uncontrollably, I mount and stroke up against the solid form of your hand. My cream now squirts, coating your hand with evidence of my pleasure.

Slowly, you release your firm hold on me and remove your fingers. You are offering me such frenzied and sensual kisses, which is resulting in my experiencing residual orgasms; throbbing in the depths of my sensitive pussy. Your tongue continues to enter further into my mouth. I take you in deep and begin in a suggestive manner. My desire to suck your cock is apparent in my movements. Your ayaş escort tight ass and hips begin grinding against my fit belly. With each increasing thrust comes evidence of your thick, growing cock wanting my undivided attention. Together, we roll over onto your side of the bed; resulting with my hovering over the top of you. Our united movement is nearly magical in power and grace.

My beautiful and delicate bud remains swollen and yearning. I am positioning myself so that I am straddling you; which results in dripping of my sweet juice settling onto your stiff cock. Taking you into my pleasing grip, I move you into a horizontal position. As I move back and forth, your glistening head is massaging my pulsating bud. Needing only to take just a few rubbing motions, I cry out and rock harder and faster. “Yes, yes, yes!”

You know the mere instant that my climax peaks. Halting my rise and fall movement, you lift me and swiftly set me down and placing yourself deep inside of me to assure my additional release. I hear exclaims of, “Oh my god, baby you are so hot and wet!”

Pins and needles surge through-out me and with them, I begin riding you hard and steady. You look up at me with that ‘hold on tight, baby’ grin that I have seen many times before.

My strapping stallion who is indeed, hung to my satisfaction. Eagerly you come, with my every wish and demand. And I come equally to yours. I can feel your smooth, round head bumping continuously up against my hidden cervix. The length you have to offer leaves no slack of space. Gallantly, you raise your arms and offer me your hands to hold; so to add to my security. Now leaning back we are enjoying a steadier and more gratifying gallop. All I need now is a leather chaps and a whip. With each downward motion onto you, a low rumbling grunt releases out with increased admittance to your liking.

Your ability to hold back, so that we may continue, never seizes to amaze and astound me. You have such will and control! Without a doubt, my countless comings and pleasure is your ultimate trigger. And this provides with it your final and extreme explosive release. My sense of your released load overflowing my pussy, entices me to raise myself off of you and snuggle up close alongside. For the next twenty minutes is mine! Mine to hold capture to the pleasurable sensation of your warm and syrupy goodness being at rest within me.

* * * * *

“There is no other place that I would rather be.” Your muscular arms tighten around me and easily pull me even more near to your bare chest. Lying closely together, skin to skin, and sharing our warmth and tenderness is a wonderful place to be.

Touching your lips to my curly brunette hair, I feel you kiss me gently. And then I hear you say, “Our time apart helped us to heal.”

In agreement, I sigh and chatter at length of our decision. Deciding together to be best friends and exclusive lovers is a mutually satisfying and exciting arrangement. Freedom to explore our connection, while developing our honest and true feelings is resulting in little pressure.

There is no need or desire for expectations, rules, or labels. Whatever ‘this’ is works for us. I’m in a soul searching frame-of-mind; learning to discover myself. And you’re searching out to find how to share your life with another. Neither wanting to lose the other, yet being nervous to have each other fully. We happily seal our deal before dozing off into much needed slumber.

* * * * *

I awake as you bring me quickly out of my sound sleep. Feelings of your hot breath and moist, soft kisses as you suckle my right breast. A seductive ankara escort smile, without haste, makes over my expression into a luscious sight to behold. Gently, I am running my fingers through your hair; so to let you know that I am awake and enjoying your affections. You begin nibbling my now fully attentive nipple with tender biting. “Oh”, I groan with yearning. Never before have I experienced the pleasures that you gift me with. The way you touch, kiss and make love is beyond my wildest fantasies. And you are well aware of my fantasies!

As if transforming my thoughts into yours, a series of seductive unyielding kisses are given to me. Sharing kisses during your travels downwards to my aching and tender clit. Your movements, and my following of your unspoken directions, bring with them your desired and freeing positioning of my body. Your ‘frenching’ delights me and my, yet again, growing clit with cravings and out of control nerve surges.

My clit enters your mouth deeper with each encouraging suck you take. Masterfully, you flick your full tongue in, just this side of, an agonizing craze. Placing my womanly hands in your hair, I gently pull at the damp stands between my fingers. My hips now gyrate uncontrollably and without forgiveness.

Moans of ecstasy escape my hot, wet lips with extreme delight. “Oh my god, yes. Yes. Yes!” My screams continue to elevate, as does my pleasure. I am reaching back for something to grasp onto. Finding your pillow, I pull it forward, holding it over my face. I scream into it like there is no tomorrow. My need to hold your cock in my hands is quickly becoming nearly unbearable. I know every last detail of your hard, thick cock and want to latch onto it now. Now! Explosion radiates from my swollen clit in every direction. I have lost complete control of my senses. I’m beating my fists against the bed, pulling at my lover, and desperately battering your pillow. I scream, “Holy shit!” And with this expression, I then simply collapse. Every washed-out ounce of me feels the exhaustion.

* * * * *

Opening my eyes, I reach out in search for you. I cannot be kept away from ‘him’ any longer. I want you in my mouth and I want you now. With my hand returning to your hair, I lift upward in a suggestive motion. Willingly, you move in for a long, deep and tasteful kiss. My cream is coating every bit of your tongue. I lap with desire to share in your winnings. Our passionate and tender kiss is causing your engorging shaft to reach a massive erection. No longer able to resist, I move swiftly towards ‘him’. My tongue removes every drop of pre-cum from your large, round head before I take you completely into my mouth. You release a pleasured gasp upon feeling your head at my throat.

Our movements become in sync and your excitement is obvious. For now, I can’t help but share my longing desire to suck at your shaft with need and strength. Willing for the taste of your cum; I milk at your stiff, scorching shaft in need of quenching my hunger. My mouth tightens like a taught cunt. With every thrust back and forth offering you hot, moist blanketing. ‘He’ is completely embedded deep within my mouth. Your pounding shaft is now oozing and tempting me with honey for my taking.

My excitement builds for I know what is soon to be released. With each forward stroke, I squeeze you harder and harder. Our connection sealed with a secure suction. I can feel ‘him’ in my mouth pulsating and thrusting. You let loose and fill my mouth. I take every seed that your shaft has to offer; and I swallow it down deep. Every last drop is consumed. Our seal is releasing with your softening and my suction letting go. Your completion wills your relaxing shaft to leave my mouth. I rest my head on your curly covered stomach, not only with satisfaction but also in search for relaxation.

It is true that I may not be in your heart. But, you are in my bed and that’s alright with me!

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